He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
