i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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