I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
