Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
