I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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