u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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