How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
