I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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