He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
