her vagine was all disorganized.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
