Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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