i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
