I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
