do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
