That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
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