I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
