Your mouth is God's brothel.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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