is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
