It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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