i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
