you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
