I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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