No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
