So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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