My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
