I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
