I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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