I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
