They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
