I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
