"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
