My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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