I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
