For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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