is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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