Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
