You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he shaved USA in his pubs
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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