im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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