ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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