I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
