Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
