That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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