She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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