I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
