Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
