Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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