Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Mom said you looked used
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
