it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
