i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
