I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
